It seems fitting that the joyous paddling of an otter brings in summer. The longest day is upon us, the solstice, the midsummer madness that fills our evenings with mirth and companionship of all sorts. The last of the peepers, the cry of the hawks, the swoop of the dragonflies in the twilight. This moment seems to exist outside of clock time, dancing to a beat all its own, whether we join in or not.
I seem to be fighting the universe most days. I have so many directions I want to make progress in. And progress on all fronts is sporadic at best.
- streamlining my life, I have been working on this for a couple of years and have kicked it up a notch. Clearing, sorting, selling and removing items large and small that do little but take up space both real and mental. The paperwork piles are the worst: old forms, medical paperwork, letters, work paper etc.
- Joe’s recovery, which is top priority and yet leaves me wondering which things to really focus on. It is like choosing between the schoolwork or outdoor time. Which will prove the most beneficial in the long and short term.
- art and creativity, squeezing it in here and there doesn’t bring the results I would like. Goal setting at the start of each month ends up being too high for what the month bring. Which ends up leaving me feeling cranky for what I didn’t achieve instead of glad of what I did.
I need to accept what is achievable, let the time flow as it will and welcome the new pace of life as best I can. It has held many sweet surprises which I need to remember when I get a case of the crankies.
I am ready to close the door on this week. Sometimes it is hard to believe “this too shall pass.” Things just feel stuck in a downward loop. Yet the time does pass, and things do shift even if they don’t necessarily improve very much. Occasionally there is improvement, and then you can hear the birdsong and feel the sun. I am ready for some of that.
What did you do with your extra minute of daylight today? I had big plans for it, but can’t actually recall how that minute got spent. Possibly enjoying a holiday treat at work, or maybe wishing someone a Merry Christmas, I might even have been doing a minute of work on a document or poster. Anyway, however I spent it wasn’t that notable. Luckily tomorrow I get even a little more daylight to use!
It is that time of month when it feels like the middle is farther away. “It’s only the 9th.” I tell myself, then Wham! it is the 15th and I am at a loss to explain how it happened!
Street scene in Cambridge MA on one of my many morning walks from the subway station to the rehab hospital. It was a very weird fall, lots of walking and hoping. This fall has a different tempo, neglected chores from last year and walks in the woods. It is a better season now.