Coloring

The summer color is in full swing now. I am enjoying these waning days seeing what is blooming before we move. Monday will be the last day here, when we close the door that final time and step into something new. It is the “something new” that keeps me awake at night in the mind loops that always occur in the wee hours. I think it should be mandatory that only pleasant thoughts spoil a night of sleep.

Tonight, after a busy day of packing and toting capped off by mowing the lawn one last time, I hope to sleep solidly. There’s much still to get done before Monday.

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Admitting defeat

After months of looking, outbids , failed offers and with the closing date looming it is time to admit defeat in our house buying process. The market being in a frenzy over the few places being sold is not one I want to be part of.

So this means apartment or townhouse rental search must be done. Not the outcome we were looking for, but it had to be done. Which will mean the garage contents of yard and house stuff must be dealt with on short order. Rakes, ladders, shovels, mower, thrower, all that sort of thing. Plus items I am not so sure I want to part with but know need to be dealt with.

It makes it a much harder process than just a regular move from house to house, or even house to condo. Which makes a tense time even tenser since I am the handler of it all. And so this sideways step will send us off in an unexpected direction, one I can only hope is a good one.

Remain calm

Buddha

It has been a busy week of showings, turning lights on and off, swapping in the “good towels” and keeping things looking spic and span. Wednesday evening’s showing was the one that made me the most anxious, maybe because of the full moon, or maybe because I had to delegate the prep because I was at work. It all went fine in spite of my emotions, as things usually do. What is a bother is not being able to have what I need at my elbow because it is packed away or in the car. But I get it, that is part of the whole process of selling and moving on, things can’t change if they remain the same. Though it is good to know we don’t have the pressure of a job starting somewhere else or a house already bought added to the mix. It is a new experience for me to be in this odd in between, and yet not yet, space. And it requires me to find a new source of calmness.

Tidiness

Our house will probably never be this tidy again. It also won’t be our house for much longer. Anyone who has sold a house knows it isn’t easy to keep it looking this nice while living in it. But that is part of the process of selling and separating. The memories will go with us. I feel a variety of conflicting emotions during this first weekend on the market. As much as a quick contract would be nice, it presents problems as so little is on the market to consider. All shall be well, that is what I am going with.

As I go

Sorting, packing and jettisoning years of stuff has been both energizing and exhausting. I have found items that I have no idea where they came from, possibly they slunk in unbeknownst to me and decided to stay. I have found things I had forgotten about that I do wish to keep, letters and such. And I have sent many things on their way to new homes, with only the absolute junk off to the dump. I am also getting tire of the whole process and the diy that has gone with it.

Turning

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Having spent the weekend spackling, mitering, nailing, and touching up items big and small, I can cross many tasks off my list. The tasks keep my mind occupied, and as a result, not fretting about selling and moving. We been in the same place for 26 years, the longest stretch for either of us. And while there is a current of excitement about moving to a different house, there are all the emotions that go with leaving the one we are in. It would be even harder were it to be a move that required new doctors, new state licenses and all new friends. We are staying close, it will make for an easier transition for Joe as he will be familiar with the city having worked there for so many years. It will be an adventure of a different sort than maybe we had planned a few years back, but still an adventure. Life is what you make it, with all the twists and turns.