I am feeling slight vibrations beneath my feet.
A job hunting friend casually mentioned that she had heard the local middle school library was going to have an assistant position posted soon. My ears pricked up and I inquired further. A Monday – Friday, 30 hours a week position which offers benefits. Now don’t get me wrong, I have a great job for which I am perfectly suited, good pay, work 3-4 days a week and have a great group of co-workers. What that job doesn’t have is benefits.
The vibrations continue as I hear that the boss is a good boss. I have decided to go for it and submit my resume as soon as the job is posted and see where it leads. Having benefits will save us somewhere around $600/mo, which is huge. Of course, as all change does, it will require upheaval from all that is now familiar, and learning a new system and space. And yet, and yet…it feels like a good thing to shoot for. There are of course things that will have to be considered. But I am putting myself is the frame of mind that the job is mine for the taking, inviting in the abundance and flow of good vibes.
I have been doing well with my self imposed 200 images per month goal. I struggled the first few months of the year with weather and commitments that fell to me to handle. If I don’t get out and use my camera regularly, I find that my “eye” loses some of the skill I rely on. Once upon a time I would get 750 images a month, out several days a week, but now is now and 200 is what I can reach. Change is hard, it forces you to make best use of what is available in the moment.
It took me almost 2 years, but today was the day that the boxes got packed. In hindsight I should have dealt with the items back in the fall of 2015, or any of the following months. But hope kept me from tackling the task. Now, after nearly 30 years of “Protecting and Serving” I have capitulated and packed up all my husband’s work and military uniforms for passing on. It has not been easy to come to this point for either of us, but work will not be something he is able to return to. And for anyone who has had a career identity that was a lifestyle, you know how hard it is to make the change. For someone who has a brain injury it is even tougher, as part of your mind still feels you can do the job, even as you know you can’t. Trying to adjust to this new life we have has been a varying challenge, but there you have it- life does that and the options are, stay locked in place or continue to move forward in a new direction. Accepting uncertainty, and going off script has never been easy for me, so this is a whole new terrain to navigate and one we both often resent having to navigate. It has brought restrictions to both our lives that we didn’t expect. It has also brought time to spend together that was missing when duty called. Light-dark. up-down, yin-yang all part of our new season.
I know summer must be coming even though spring never arrived. And thus, I am gearing up to do “things”: field trips, hikes, website updates, workshops, visits with friends and more. The season is fleeting even when it doesn’t start slowly, and I cannot afford to waste a moment. Old gears can be coaxed back into action, it is just a matter of effort and getting the rust off.
Joe and I went to Calgary and then on to the Banff area. It was a very different time, we were young for one thing, had 2 very small children and the future unfurled before us uncluttered by any debris of life’s upsets. Now and close to home, it is also very different. Both children grown, we are older and a TBI has shifted the course we thought we were on. Life does that to everyone in some form or another, at one age or another. It is inevitable, yet so far the sun has continued to rise, the rivers continue to flow and trees grow and fall. Each day an adventure in a whole new way.
when the sheer joy of being alive and out in the world is more than enough.