January has passed and I only got out one day with my camera. Nearly all my free time has been spent finishing up house projects, sorting and packing, and trying to motivate myself to keep doing those items over and over until done. My energy swells and wanes with no rhyme or reason. I have reached a point where I am tired of the fussiness of getting the house ready to sell, no house is perfect, no color choice is perfect and no layout will appeal to everyone. So instead I am going for clean, tidy and fresh. New flooring, new carpets, new island, new sink, new garage door openers and such. All to replace or improve items we lived with, or without, very comfortably for years. Funny how you will put up with things you wouldn’t expect someone else to.
This weekend though, I am taking a bit of a break and plan to get out of doors to see new and old sights. My mind needs a good dusting out, as do my joints. The paint and packing can wait for another day, they won’t be going anywhere and the DIY house fairy is unlikely to swing by. “All work and no play” after all is no way to spend all my time.
Sorting, packing and jettisoning years of stuff has been both energizing and exhausting. I have found items that I have no idea where they came from, possibly they slunk in unbeknownst to me and decided to stay. I have found things I had forgotten about that I do wish to keep, letters and such. And I have sent many things on their way to new homes, with only the absolute junk off to the dump. I am also getting tire of the whole process and the diy that has gone with it.
Having spent the weekend spackling, mitering, nailing, and touching up items big and small, I can cross many tasks off my list. The tasks keep my mind occupied, and as a result, not fretting about selling and moving. We been in the same place for 26 years, the longest stretch for either of us. And while there is a current of excitement about moving to a different house, there are all the emotions that go with leaving the one we are in. It would be even harder were it to be a move that required new doctors, new state licenses and all new friends. We are staying close, it will make for an easier transition for Joe as he will be familiar with the city having worked there for so many years. It will be an adventure of a different sort than maybe we had planned a few years back, but still an adventure. Life is what you make it, with all the twists and turns.
Up, then down, then over, then up, then down again. That was my weekend as I painted, patched, sorted, dusted and so on. House DIY has taken over all my free time, and I still have more to do it seems. I know that isn’t actually true as tasks finished are finished barring some disaster. It just feels that way. If I try to sit and relax I feel antsy because I know there are things that need doing. I need the house fairy godmother to come, wave her wand and poof have it all “done”. After awhile the satisfaction of doing it yourself wears off in the repetition of doing it yourself.
First of all let me say, this isn’t my house. But sometimes I feel as if my house looks like this. We have been in a state of varying turmoil it seems like forever, but isn’t really. We have sorted, sold, donated, disposed and packed. We have painted, paid someone to paint high places, seal coated the driveway, had wood floors put in, a tile back splash, seal, and general repairs that aren’t in my skill set. Yet it still feels as if the list continues to stay the same length or grow. All in preparation to putting the house on the market and get a place that will be easier for me to maintain. It is a daunting proposition as anyone who has moved after being in one place a long time knows. It is also a real time eater, I have time, or energy, to do anything creative or website related. If I have free time I feel as if I should be doing something house DIY related, or just want to sit still and do nothing for a bit. Though I would really like to get out with my camera or pull out art supplies, I guess this too shall pass, I just need to be patient.
I sometimes find myself taking a narrow view, focusing on the task at hand with an earnestness to keep me on track. Painting is my current narrow view, wall painting not creative painting. So there has been wallpaper stripping, spackling and sanding, plus all the taping and cleanup that bookend such projects. Meanwhile my worktable continues to gather dust, as does my camera. I am hyperfocused on getting these DIY projects done so that they are off my list and will help us in a couple years when we plan to sell. There are so many projects I simply cannot do (ie- pave the driveway), that any I can do give me a sense of moving forward. Yet in spite of the feeling of accomplishment I am missing the creative time to work on projects and explore new ideas. It is a toss up, as most things in life tend to be.