All feels a-wiggle now. Spring is in and out of the air as we await some warmer weather and signs of blossoms. The turtles had clambered up on the logs to sun themselves, but now have returned to the mud with the colder weather. Yard work is beginning in small bits between snows. There is much to do. We are looking to move next spring/summer and have a list that seems to stay the same length regardless of how much gets crossed off. The first college graduation is next month, with all the change that will bring as dorm items come home to roost before moving on. My feelings swing from side to side in this time of change; excitement to worry, busy to idle thoughts. Breathe-breathe-breathe.
Joe and I have been doing a lot of back road driving, in NH in the spring that means keeping off the dirt (mud) roads if at all possible. Once the snow melts and the trails firm up we will get back out on hikes. Ditto for city treks, but there it is snow melts and the sidewalks are passable. It’s all part of the changing of the season here, one that feels long overdue after the last two snow storms we had. Now we are edging into April, it seems March just started and here it is the final days of the month. We are entering April full of high spirits and a sense of adventure about many things.
People rarely consider good change to be any reason to grieve. Grief has been assigned a gloomy spot to reside where it is only associated with negativity and loss. Yet, to leave behind a place, person, job etc all mean a loss of what was even while moving forward. I guess that is why there is the word “bittersweet”.
I urge you to check out the blog link below and see the list Chris has of losses, it lists a sample of 47 types of losses. They aren’t all what you’d think.
I am feeling slight vibrations beneath my feet.
A job hunting friend casually mentioned that she had heard the local middle school library was going to have an assistant position posted soon. My ears pricked up and I inquired further. A Monday – Friday, 30 hours a week position which offers benefits. Now don’t get me wrong, I have a great job for which I am perfectly suited, good pay, work 3-4 days a week and have a great group of co-workers. What that job doesn’t have is benefits.
The vibrations continue as I hear that the boss is a good boss. I have decided to go for it and submit my resume as soon as the job is posted and see where it leads. Having benefits will save us somewhere around $600/mo, which is huge. Of course, as all change does, it will require upheaval from all that is now familiar, and learning a new system and space. And yet, and yet…it feels like a good thing to shoot for. There are of course things that will have to be considered. But I am putting myself is the frame of mind that the job is mine for the taking, inviting in the abundance and flow of good vibes.
Joe and I went to Calgary and then on to the Banff area. It was a very different time, we were young for one thing, had 2 very small children and the future unfurled before us uncluttered by any debris of life’s upsets. Now and close to home, it is also very different. Both children grown, we are older and a TBI has shifted the course we thought we were on. Life does that to everyone in some form or another, at one age or another. It is inevitable, yet so far the sun has continued to rise, the rivers continue to flow and trees grow and fall. Each day an adventure in a whole new way.
What is it about a bridge that calls out to be crossed? Maybe it is the idea of venturing into something new, or the idea of leaving something no longer needed behind.