Passed

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A few weeks back I wrote about a job opening I was looking into. One that would be a big life shift. I applied and waited, and waited, and did calculations, and mulled and waited some more. I considered the work-life balance of the current job vs the potential of having benefits at the other. I mocked up a variety of pay scenarios, and time spent at work vs where I am at. Days passed, then a week, then another. A co worker had a family member die unexpectedly and went on bereavement leave, the boss was deep in contentious budget negotiations and it was a Saturday afternoon when I got the call for an interview. The following Tuesday between 1 and 3. I had pretty much figured the job was to be filled by a long term sub to finish the year, and had mentally moved on. And when I got the time frame, I verbally did. I explained that I would be at work covering shifts as we were understaffed at the moment, that I was sure they had good applicants and thank you for the phone call. There was some dead air on the other end of the line, then a “give us a call if you take the time off and can come in.” Monday being a holiday I was unsure how that would be possible. Plus it gave me pause, what sort of person would I be to call in knowing people were counting on me to show up for a day of work. What sort of employee would they be looking for if that was how I made it to the interview? It made me uncomfortable though.

Did I make the right choice in passing on this opportunity? Impossible to really know. I do know a M-F job would have meant finding companionship for Joe, as leaving him home 5 full days a week would be most unkind and make for a very lonely stretch for him. I now only have 2 full days and can spend the bulk of the others getting him out and about doing stuff, going places and socializing. He gets out to lunch with friends and to karate and the gym. So I traded maybe $400 or so a month in extra income for free time to use as I want. It feels like the right choice for how our lives are, and that is what the decision was ultimately about.

Awaited

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For some time now I have awaited the right moment to dive into this new project. The moment arrived just days ago, spurred in part by a feeling of never getting to create and a feeling of make it happen. It felt good to get back to my work table and pull out supplies, to cut the phrases I had marked from Never Coming Back, and to sort through the box of flea market photos I got many years ago. I do not understand my compulsion to do an series of Alzheimer’s based pieces, but as soon as I read Alison’s book I knew I had to. Time is precious to me, I struggle to make a spot in my schedule to pursue what calls me. Yet not to, to let everything else take over is not the best use of my time after all.