It is almost time for another day away, to wade in the cool Atlantic water and walk the sun warmed sand. To tip my face up to catch the late summer rays, and breathe in the salty air. To clamber over rocks and peer into tidal pools.To get ice cream or seafood chowder to eat waterside while we enjoy the waning summer days.
Summer sun, winter cold and all the other types of weather have taken their toll on the wood on this old library building. But the window glass still catches the reflection of the clouds passing by.
I am often out looking at architecture, old and new. If I can pull over or walk back safely to it I will do so to get the image even if I never use it. Just a historical record of sorts. Joe and I are preparing to pare down to a place with a much shorter driveway and smaller yard. To that end, I have been working on winnowing items for several years, and we now have started bigger tasks that we can breakdown into smaller ones. Mainly cutting back all the overgrowth that occurred since we did it last back in early 2015. Amazing how quickly it filled back in! The list seems endless, and many tasks are simply not DIY and will be on the slow to get done list for now. It is both exciting and a bit scary to start down this road after 25 years at the same address, but the house needs a young family in it. The girls will be finishing college soon and off on their own full time. the dorm days are nearly over, school breaks and childhood bedrooms will be a thing of the past. It is nearly time to leave this harbor and sail forth.
It took me almost 2 years, but today was the day that the boxes got packed. In hindsight I should have dealt with the items back in the fall of 2015, or any of the following months. But hope kept me from tackling the task. Now, after nearly 30 years of “Protecting and Serving” I have capitulated and packed up all my husband’s work and military uniforms for passing on. It has not been easy to come to this point for either of us, but work will not be something he is able to return to. And for anyone who has had a career identity that was a lifestyle, you know how hard it is to make the change. For someone who has a brain injury it is even tougher, as part of your mind still feels you can do the job, even as you know you can’t. Trying to adjust to this new life we have has been a varying challenge, but there you have it- life does that and the options are, stay locked in place or continue to move forward in a new direction. Accepting uncertainty, and going off script has never been easy for me, so this is a whole new terrain to navigate and one we both often resent having to navigate. It has brought restrictions to both our lives that we didn’t expect. It has also brought time to spend together that was missing when duty called. Light-dark. up-down, yin-yang all part of our new season.
I know I have said it before, but it bears repeating. There is just something special about old door hardware. The design, the sturdiness, the patina, the history. This particular one was on an unlikely building, one that looked more like a freight office than anything else. I love to look closely at the details of old buildings, to imagine the architect or builder choosing the details with specific overall look in mind. It makes me wonder if any are still standing, will any future people admire a Wal-Mart door, or Target or any of the other big box or strip malls or business parks of our time?
It is the final days of July, once again the month has sped passed. The cicadas are thrumming in the treetops to let me know the season is entering a new phase. It seems like the more I tackle (and even complete), the less I seem to get done! For each task completed, another must remain undone. That is the paradox of making choices. However, getting the garage all cleaned out, stuff to the dump, overgrowth in on section of the yard cut back and more items sorted out is progress. It is just that it is coming at the cost of art time, both mixed media and photography. A fine layer of dust coats my worktable as proof of this. Summer is so fleeting, even the longer days only allow so much to get squeezed in. I say “next week. next week”, and then they pass. I need to get back at the worktable and out with the camera again, even if it means weeds creep back into the lawn.