Melancholy-ing

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It took me almost 2 years, but today was the day that the boxes got packed. In hindsight I should have dealt with the items back in the fall of 2015, or any of the following months. But hope kept me from tackling the task. Now, after nearly 30 years of “Protecting and Serving” I have capitulated and packed up all my husband’s work and military uniforms for passing on. It has not been easy to come to this point for either of us, but work will not be something he is able to return to. And for anyone who has had a career identity that was a lifestyle, you know how hard it is to make the change. For someone who has a brain injury it is even tougher, as part of your mind still feels you can do the job, even as you know you can’t. Trying to adjust to this new life we have has been a varying challenge, but there you have it- life does that and the options are, stay locked in place or continue to move forward in a new direction. Accepting uncertainty, and going off script has never been easy for me, so this is a whole new terrain to navigate and one we both often resent having to navigate. It has brought restrictions to both our lives that we didn’t expect. It has also brought time to spend together that was missing when duty called. Light-dark. up-down, yin-yang all part of our new season.

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Grand

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I know I have said it before, but it bears repeating. There is just something special about old door hardware. The design, the sturdiness, the patina, the history. This particular one was on an unlikely building, one that looked more like a freight office than anything else. I love to look closely at the details of old buildings, to imagine the architect or builder choosing the details with specific overall look in mind. It makes me wonder if any are still standing, will any future people admire a Wal-Mart door, or Target or any of the other big box or strip malls or business parks of our time?

 

When July closes

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It is the final days of July, once again the month has sped passed. The cicadas are thrumming in the treetops to let me know the season is entering a new phase. It seems like the more I tackle (and even complete), the less I seem to get done! For each task completed, another must remain undone. That is the paradox of making choices. However, getting the garage all cleaned out, stuff to the dump, overgrowth in on section of the yard cut back and more items sorted out is progress. It is just that it is coming at the cost of art time, both mixed media and photography. A fine layer of dust coats my worktable as proof of this. Summer is so fleeting, even the longer days only allow so much to get squeezed in. I say “next week. next week”, and then they pass. I need to get back at the worktable and out with the camera again, even if it means weeds creep back into the lawn.

The Whipping Room

The Whipping Room

Okay, maybe I am taking a bit of creative license in the title. But when I saw the belt on the back of the door it did seem a bit uncomfortably odd. This is the room to the right of the open back house I posted about on Wednesday. Only about 6 feet of the room was left, the rest of it had been shorn off by the excavator. Should I have clambered over the dirt and gone inside, maybe. It didn’t seem like the next door neighbors were out, still maybe they own the plot and might frown on such a venture. I know when I don’t I miss out on images, yet I also avoid potential injury and irate owners. So it is a trade off, as much of life is.

Secured

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It was good to see that the front door of this old house was secured to prevent access. Most of the house has been torn down to make way for a new, quick build. Not sure this would have been much good as a rehab anyhow. Given that I grew up about 2-3 miles from this place I simple cannot recall what this house looked like intact. Odd how the memory does this. I wish I had noticed when I took this image the old pencil sharpener located between the big front window and front door window there on the white trim. The sun was so bright that I just didn’t see it, and I expect the whole building is down by now. Wavy glass windows, bits of pottery, sharpener and all.

The final sweep

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The final sweeping out of this house occurred about 15 years ago. It has sat empty ever since, for sale and sale pending several times. There is a feeling of the building holding its breath as it awaits what is to come. Waiting to see in anyone will inhabit these rooms even as commercial space of some sort. The whole 40+ acres is due to become part of an artisan village, so maybe the building will be reused. The bones are good, the 1960’s and 70’s updates not so much. Time will tell whether or not it is reused or leveled. I always cringe a bit the occasional times I drive past it, half afraid I will see rubble.