Automatic closing

IMG_20150529_075103_060-01There it is, THE door. The one that has shut firmly behind me, signalling the end of an era. I wrote a bit about this back in January (The Bittersweet Year), and now am hearing the swoosh of another door closing, that no amount of effort will re-open or allow re-entry. Childhood has drawn to its final close with graduation tomorrow. Life is full of doors closing and opening, but the door that separates adulthood from childhood at graduation is one that most everyone experiences in a very small window of time. May and June are the traditional graduation months, and as I attended the final at school function last night it really was clear that an era had ended. No more will I call the school to report an absence, buy lunch items, sign permission slips for field trips, or acknowledge the grades on a report card so it can go back to the school office. THE door has shut, and I am now outside the mothering parent stage that stretched from birth to graduation, all the “would have, could have, should have”¬†are on the other side of the glass with all that did get done. I am onto a new stage, where being a mother is less about managing and more about hoping they have internalized what the past stretch of years has been for. Adulthood unrolls ahead, with all the trials and joys it will bring for both my daughters.

They are on the same side of the door I am, we are just getting in different cars to drive off in.

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Patched

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I am still feeling that at best I am patching things together in a rather slapdash manner. I have found no way to cobble together the spare 10 and 15 minutes to get a straight stretch of time I can use.

And it is making me a bits nuts as I see day after day slipping away with little to show for it but the regular daily “stuff”. Deadlines are springing up like jack-in-the-boxes, startling me even when they are expected.

Next week I’ll get back in the flow,

I’m sure of it.

Last dance

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This past evening I spent taking and editing my daughter’s prom pictures. The last dance of high school.

As I looked at all their young faces clustered together, laughing and enjoying each other’s company I wondered if any of them knew how precious that moment was as life prepared to sweep them all in different directions.

How far in the future would it be when one of them stumbled upon one of the photos packed away amongst the detritus of the teenage years, and be amazed at how much time has passed, and how they all looked on that one night.

It did not make me nostalgic for my own senior year in any way, just contemplative seeing this group of girls on the cusp of all the unknowns that lie ahead in their lives. Even in this world of social media constant connectivity, friends will be outgrown and the ties will weaken as they step into the wider world.

Model UN, school trips, classes, sports and high school dramas will all fade into the background collage.

They all have been fortunate enough to have parents who invested in their education to give them the best jumping off spot they could. That is a huge help these days that not everyone gets to have. In a couple of hours my daughter will be home to tell the tales of prom and the following sleepover, where a friend’s parents invited all 50+ girls over for a sleepover. Then it is the last few school events: baccalaureate, sports banquet and graduation, the final hugs and laughs in the flurry of activity of the big day. Then, that door closes as they all turn towards college and all that will bring.

Miles behind

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I don’t know what it is recently but at the close of everyday I feel miles behind where I should be. Not sure what is going on time wise, but it sure seems something is. Even this upcoming long weekend is I can see it is fragmenting into bits I can’t seem to assemble into a cohesive whole. Ah well, there are times like this for everyone. I guess I will just have to make the best of the collage it becomes.

Onto other things

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I have been keeping an eye on this house over the years since before I saw the for sale sign in the yard. I figured it wouldn’t be sold to someone for a residence, but might be used as a business.

When I saw the large metal building go up in back I thought the structure was doomed for demolition.

But the good news is that it appears it is being salvaged to be used elsewhere. The timber frame is all tagged with numbered metal discs.

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The windows are all stacked inside against the central fireplace that at one point provided the heat and cooking space for the house. The base of the chimney on the floor must be close to 6 feet across. There is no cellar beneath the granite slabs of the foundation, just a crawl space.

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The front and side doors are still in their places, allowing the building to be somewhat secure. I was able to peek into the house through the round holes from when insulation was blown in, and from just above the sill plate.

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This cool doorknob is on the back lean-to that was most certainly a late addition as it doesn’t match the rest of the house. There is more to share about this house, and I will do so in future posts.